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Self Esteem & Friends

QUESTION:  I’ve got low self esteem and I’m really unpopular.

I want to be popular and help get my self-esteem up.

VALERIE:

Hi!

There is no guarantee in life that having self esteem and/or confidence will make you popular (or vice versa). Being “popular” really depends on whom you want to be popular with, and by becoming a person that others will like. Many people mistakenly will play the part others wish, in order to be accepted or part of a group. Much of the time this is done and in doing so, they sacrifice who they really are. This is a good way to be accepted by others, but be very unhappy at the same time, as you are not being true to yourself. If you want to have more friends, be the best you that you can be. Be a person that *you* would like to be friends with. As the old saying goes, you must “be” a friend in order to have friends.

You are not very specific in your question, so I am not sure if you aren’t making *any* friends, or if you just want to have more friends. Remember, in friendship, quality is much more desirable in the long run than quantity. Having a handful of really true friends, can be much more satisfying that having a lot of friends, who aren’t very good friends at all.

Bottom line, be the type of friend that you, yourself would like to be friends with, and you will begin to attract more friendship. Aside from that, I would need more details as to the situation. Thanks for asking!

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