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The issue is that when I was about 12 or 13 yrs old I fainted at school this has sparked off a lot of problems/issues for me which I’d like to talk about so I can let go of them and be free. A couple of years before this happened I had started using food for comfort, I believe it was because I saw my Mum do it and picked up on it, it was only small at that time. I would eat a whole big bag of crisps in my room on a Sunday night and it would leave me feeling so full I felt sick but I felt I had to eat it all. That was all I really did then, but then I started to use it as “treats” like I would have a bag with my toast for breakfast on a Saturday morning while watching TV this became a ritual…I think I was lonely. It never felt like a problem at the time.
I started skipping breakfast I’d seen my best friend do it so didn’t think it was a problem, I’d have very little for lunch too, I never thought of it as a problem at all. Well after doing this for several months one day at school I fainted. It scared me so much. Now, I still have anxiety attacks, and panic that I will faint, even though I haven’t fainted again since then.
Thanks for your question.
Most problems don’t begin as problems. I want you to sit for a moment for me and I want you to picture yourself at 12 years old, back in your room. Remember all the details of your room, and what was going on in your life at that time, both externally and internally. Picture it in your mind as clearly as you can. Now, I want you to sit with the 12 yr old you, and I want you to ask her what she is feeling. Take your time, and let your heart remember. Now stay in that place, as your 12 year old self, and feel those feelings. I want you to ask yourself, what has made you feel this way? What’s missing in your life? Has something changed recently? Try and remember when exactly this situation began. If you are feeling hurt or unloved, it doesn’t have to be that way. I am so sorry for those feelings you had when you were 12. Know now that you have the power in you to heal those feelings. What can you do for yourself to heal those feelings that you still feel like you are carrying around? How can you parent your 12 year old self? Remember that you were young and you were handling things the only way you knew how. Now, take a good look at what your relationship with food is as an adult. If your eating still stems from feelings, think of some other ways to deal with those feelings, without using food. Life is all about choices. You make the choices, you are in control. Look at your support system. Look at the support you’ve given yourself over the years. Have you thanked yourself? Have you stood in front of a mirror and acknowledged yourself for getting you through all these years, or have you just been beating yourself up? If you haven’t acknowledged yourself, please do. I want you to stand in front of the mirror and say to yourself: “Thank you for all the times you’ve been there for me. Thank you for standing by me in all the bad times. Thank you for crying with me, celebrating with me, and for standing strong through all of life’s struggles. I forgive you for making mistakes along the way. I know that you were doing the best you knew how and I love you for that. You really tried even though you felt alone and scared. I have never thanked you for doing that for me, but I want you to know how grateful I am that you have been there for me, and that you will always been there for me.”
Then I want you to remind yourself on a daily basis that as long as you have choices, you are in control. Everything you feel, do, say – is a choice you have made. Make the powerful choices. Make the best choices for you. Making conscious choices is so empowering. What I am also hearing is that you are still choosing to let that experience from your childhood control how you feel. Make a new choice for yourself. Choose to feel secure, choose to eat foods that make your body healthy and will help you ensure that you won’t get weak and feel faint. The power is in your hands. It is all as simple as making the choice.